King Flynn and Queen Dolores: Monarchy of Cool

LETTER TO KING FLYNN 11/23/2011

My Leige, 

What a poor respondent I’ve been. How ashamed I am for not making time to write to you the last several weeks. 

My schooling has been taking up a great deal of my time and for the first time ever I actually sorta kinda give a shit about getting my school work done. Incredible, this feeling is. 

I am utterly heartbroken that I will not be seeing your wonderful mug this week. As you return back to the wondrous, bountiful land of Texas, I will be departing to the Natural State of Arkansas to visit my aunt. How miserable it is knowing we will barely miss each other. But upon your next return to the Lone Star state, we will bro it up like there’s no tomorrow. 

I have been working harder and harder on my photography lately. I may be putting a bit too much pressure on myself, but the best fruits of our labors are the ones we work hardest for, amirite?

I greatly enjoyed the images of snow and cattle you posted previously. It was most entertaining. 

We will skype and be merry soon, my lord.

I give you my best wishes and hopes for delicious birds. Happy Thanksgiving buddy/King! 

LETTER FROM KING FLYNN 10/17/11

My Dear Queen,

The sky has issued forth a blanket of diamond dust the likes of which I have seen few times before. That’s all I can focus on for now. My survival does not, however, seem to hang in the balance at this very moment.

Do stay safe back home. Remember to bring your knights along as escorts if need be.

Bewilderedly,

King Flynn

LETTER FROM KING FLYNN 9/26/11

Dearest Queen,

I am writing to you in a state of only mild distress. And by mild distress, I mostly mean “fever-induced headache that makes me act like a sleepy five-year-old.” I’m not sure how it came upon me, but I have indeed come into possession of one filthy wench of a headache.

Aside from this minor discomfort, all goes well in my corner of the Kingdom. It seems that frost has begun to make morningly appearances, and by all reports the land will soon begin to see and become blanketed by a powdery white substance known in these parts as “snow.” This is, of course, an anomalous weather phenomenon that I intend to investigate thoroughly. Reports forthcoming once the phenomenon begins to take place, naturally.

In recent escapades, I managed to go out and see some of the local wildlife at a research station. I am now more or less acquainted with the local tame populations of caribou and muskoxen. I took the liberty of performing some photographic (imagine, if you will, a loom-type device that captures live images and immediately records them on a sort of tapestry; quite remarkable, really) reconnaissance, which will also be forthcoming. As in, within minutes after I have sent this letter by hawk.

I will remain stalwart in my stand against the natural obstacles this land continues to throw at me. Until next time, I bid thee a royal farewell.

Majestically Yours,

King Flynn

LETTER FROM QUEEN DOLORES 9/11/11

Dearest King,

How miserable and unfortunate your journey was. I send you my deepest and most sincere apologies for such a royally (haha) screwed up misadventure. This old hag who weaves such a grievous tale must be hexed. Or banished, or executed (or whatever royalty would do). But remember you are strong and brave. This is why you are king, of course. Your journey for art supplies is far from over, as it’s always darkest before dawn in these times of woe. 

Aside from your misfortune, it seems you are doing well otherwise. I cannot wait until I am able to see your climbing skills first hand! It will be a joyous occasion, indeed. Crack climbing sounds rather intense. You’re going to be royally buff and studly. 

On the home front, things have been quite strange. Our lovely city and the surrounding inhabitants were greatly affected by the wildfires. It was a complete shock. The city as a whole is doing its best to find means to serve those affected. Many homes were lost and it was truly tragic. As you may know, my mother works very close to Steiner Ranch, but luckily the business was spared by a simple change in winds. During the week, the downtown area looked so hazy, as though a massive cloud hung over it. How sad it is. 

Good news from myself though, I started my first project for my major (Photocommunications). I’m taking photos based solely on different types of lighting using a 35mm camera. It’s pretty exciting. I love the facilities my campus offers. The dark rooms and processing equipment are truly fit for a Queen such as myself. 

I also managed to get myself a royally hunky beau named Roberto. He is quite the stunner. So that’s cool. I’ve also become really good friends with a lovely lady by the name of Deanna, who is also a PHCO major. She’s pretty legit, and extremely talented. The three of us attended a lovely party that the university held on campus known as Hillfest. It was quite a joy, including free carnival rides, food, and tee-shirts. I’ll try and post some images later.

On another note, I went to our high school yesterday to see The Beauty Queen of Leenane. I became rather nostalgic, really, especially since this time a year ago we were in a play about, yes, people in 911. How strange it all is. How much we’ve grown. How time flies, and how the last year has changed us. I wished you were there to see our younger friends act. It was rather delightful.

I wish you all the best and apologize for this rather long-winded letter.

Missing you royally,

Queen Dolores

p.s. I wish everyone peace and happiness today.

Letter From King Flynn 9/10/11

My Dearest Queen,

Allow me to weave for you a brief tale of woe. A tapestry of heartache, so to speak. A tapestry woven by a little old lady whose fingers bled as she constructed this masterpiece of misery, chuckling to herself the whole while about how funny it would be to give this tapestry to a king for his great hall without him realizing that it was inked in with her wretched blood.

Today marked a milestone in muck as I set myself to the task of acquiring the necessary supplies for my beginning drawing class. I began by sending my messenger hawk forth to the great marketplace known to most peasants these days as “the internet,” seeking a few simple supplies. Upon discovering that one of the vendors would not accept my royal debit card for payment, I set out into the town to visit the vendor in person. However, as I was riding my two-wheeled transport device, a rain storm blew in, bringing the temperature down to an discomforting fourty-two degrees and soaking my person thoroughly. Moreover, I was misguided by the directions I’d received from the vendor to reach the supply establishment and became hopelessly lost and cold. Eventually I decided to simply turn back and return to my quarters, but not without the bitter taste of defeat building up in my mouth, forcing me to spit upon my fate.

While today marks a rather unsavory loss on my part, I fully intend to acquaint myself with the local marketplace’s layout by having my hawk bring me more maps of the area. I will be triumphant tomorrow.

In other news, all is going fairly well with my classes. No one has yet uncovered my secret identity, thus my humble peasant disguise continues to be effective. In my climbing class, we learned crack climbing, which essentially consists of cramming one’s hands and feet into cracks in the wall and wedging oneself in place, using gravity and tension to hold oneself up. It’s even harder than it sounds. Indeed, one student’s hands were so badly chafed that they began to bleed. I avoided such a fate through generous use of chalk. My new climbing equipment is truly putting my old gear to shame.

That’s really about all there is to write about for now. I do hope you’re safe from the fires back home.

Royally Yours,

King Flynn

zachgalifianaptime-deactivated2 asked: love y'all's tats! missin ya both

But… Royal subject… that is not a question. It’s just a statement. Moreover, it’s not even a full-on fact. It’s… AN OPINION

But it’s a splendid opinion, and worthy of our Majesty, so I’ll let it slide, humble subject.

- King Flynn

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